No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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