A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Pappa wants mamma naked
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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