I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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