She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I would fuck him just for his dog
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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