How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
