There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
