I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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