I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
