THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
