You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
