I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
