we have officially lost it.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
