I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
