so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
