I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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