I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
