Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
