She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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