Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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