WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
