my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
