I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
