So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
