He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
