He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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