if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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