hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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