carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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