Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
