I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
