I think i peed on brittanys purse
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
