It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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