She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
