I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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