Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
