5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
