my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
