I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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