also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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