hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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