If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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