girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
