I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize