Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
