it wasn't lemon gatorade
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
