I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
