Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
