You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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