great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
