If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
