Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
