CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize