Duck Duck Cougar?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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