in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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