I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
