You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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