1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He has the fingertips of a God
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