My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
