So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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