i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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