it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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