I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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