So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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