rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
