how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
