Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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