I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
