i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
