Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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