So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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