I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
As shirtless as possible
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
