pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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