that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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