Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
