i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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