Nicole vs. Life
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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