I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
