i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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