I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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