So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
